I know a lot of people who are in love. And that's really great. Generally, it makes me feel like the world is working, not broken, which is the opposite of how the news makes me feel. But I'd rather read the news than read your deeply heartfelt proclamations of true and undying devotion to each other on Facebook. Hell, I'd rather click through your entire photo album of home-cooked rice curries than be granted full access to your innermost thoughts and deepest feelings about how lucky/unworthy/awestruck you are to even have spent just one second basking in each other's miraculous presence.
Before you think me heartless, know that I love me a good love note. They are beautiful and romantic and exciting, regardless of how cliche and sentimental they might be. Whether they are poetic and passionate or endearingly clumsy in their exuberant gushing, love notes are one of the best parts of being in love. But I think the very thing that makes them so special is precisely the reason I'm so vehemently anti-PEAs (public expressions of affection): they are private. Written "for your eyes only." To me, being in love is like sharing a special secret, a private space that no one else is allowed to visit.
Inviting everyone you know - and maybe some you only kinda sorta know - to bear witness to your intimate life (verbal lovemaking in public) cheapens the value of love and the excitement of romance. It destroys the wonderful magic of being braindead-in-love. And above all, it makes the rest of us really uncomfortable. No matter how much we love you, we* don't want to see you make love to each other, in words or in bed. So on behalf of every non-voyeuristic social media user, please keep your intimate moments behind closed doors.
Also, could you please stop posting pictures of rice curries?
*Respectfully excluding any voyeurs with a verbal fetish, of course.
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