Fancy Pants Guide to Photo Bombing

Tired of having your coworkers ignore your hilarious bits?
Sick of your friends not inviting you to star in every photo they take?
Had enough of being on the sidelines of the local ice skating rink?

FPC knows how you feel. And we want to help. So here's some friendly advice that will help you steal the spotlight, impress your friends, and achieve immortality*!

Invite all your coolest coworkers to Open Skate at the ice rink during your next lunch break. They will love it, and at least one of them will want to document how much fun you are all having together by taking pictures. Act like you don't care if you're in any of the pictures. Resist the urge to repeatedly yell "Look what I can do! Take a picture of me!" while practicing hilarious bits, like hilariously pretending to change lines like a hockey player.**

Now, wait for your friends to pose for a picture, then skate towards them until you build enough momentum to propel you directly in front of the photo. As you glide into the camera's view, raise your arms overhead and yell "PHOTO BOMB!" so no one mistakes your hilarious bit for accidentally losing control of your body.

If all goes well, you will achieve hilarious results like these:

Everyone will appreciate your wit and artistic vision, and you will definitely*** be invited to the next happy hour.  So go forth and photo bomb, valued reader, and send us the results!



*That's a metaphor. FPC can't and does not claim to know the secret to eternal life.
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***FPC cannot guarantee this, and in fact, harbors some serious doubts about it, but takes no responsibility for any hurt feelings. Bomb at your own risk.

Join the Anti-Troll (One-Woman) Crusade!

Urban dictionary defines "trolling" as

Being a prick on the internet because you can. Typically unleashing one or more cynical or sarcastic remarks on an innocent by-stander, because it's the internet and, hey, you can.

The second definition gets a little more precise: The art of deliberately, cleverly, and secretly pissing people off, usually via the internet, using dialogue. I prefer this definition, because it doesn't limit trolling to acts of verbal aggression against "innocent" by-standers. Furthermore, it elevates trolling to the level of art. And I prefer to think of myself as an artist rather than a prick. Usually. In any case, the act of trolling doesn't have to be a negative function that creates unnecessary anger. In the right circumstances, trolls can serve a positive purpose by creating mild bemusement, while possibly making an important contribution to society. Allow me to explain.  One of my biggest pet peeves on Facebook (next to verbal lovemaking and quoting song lyrics without citation or context) is the Negative Nancy. You know, the one who's always talking about how dumb things are, and [insert 4-letter expletive here] people who like/do those dumb things? Such behavior is nothing more than proactive trolling, and it is NOT a victimless crime. I'm pretty sure I saw a billboard that said that, so it must be true. In any case, it's mean-spirited and not clever, and it annoys me.  And since you can't fight fire with fire (unless you really like fire, and the first fire is threatening to go out), I decided to take another approach. I call it the Anti-Troll, and it goes a little something like this:  You'll notice that 3 people "liked" my comment, including myself.  If this overwhelming show of support is any indication of the success of my anti-trolling campaign, then I'm about to blow your mind even further. Because what you can't see is that my comment went completely unremarked upon by the Negative Nancy in question. And if the primary purpose of trolling is to provoke a reaction, then I have obviously succeeded beyond measure in creating a perfect Anti-Troll. Victory is mine!