Top 5 Fears

These are my top 5 fears. I think they are reasonable.

1.  Mice and rats

If zombies were real, I would not be afraid of them.  I think I would be able to outrun them since I can run a 12:00 mile. I also think I could hide out in my apartment until the zombie apocalypse is over since I have a lot of books and dvds, I can totally entertain myself. What really terrifies me is a world where rats and mice take over. They can already slide through floorboards and swim through the sewers.  They are unstoppable. What will these creatures do next? It's terrifying to imagine.

2.  Being locked in a port-o-potty

I love festivals, but every year I fear this season because I will have to use a port-o-potty. Every time I enter a port-o-potty, I’m terrified that someone will lock me in one. You never know, there might be some psychopath who spends his days and nights at festivals locking port-o-potties. This psychopath might also take it even farther and do the unthinkable. He might knock over the port-o-potty with me inside, and I will be covered in poop.
 

3. Falling through an outhouse toilet
Luckily, I only have to deal with this fear when and if I go camping, or I’m in a remote location. Thank you, western civilization!

(Having to hide in an outhouse or jump into poop are now part of this fear. I will personally thank Danny Boyle or Steven Spielberg for adding to my paranoia if I ever meet them. )

4. My computer dying

Computers are expensive. I can’t afford a new one.  I don’t want a new one. I rely on my computer. It is my access to the outside world. Blah, blah, I'm whining I know.  I’m scared it is going to die, that I will never find one that I like as much, and I will have to go to the library and use one of the library's computers. If you use a library computer, you only get one hour a day to use it.  One hour only! 60 minutes! That’s madness! One hour on a computer is not enough time to get any work done, but it is enough time to catch some weird keyboard disease from the previous person who used the computer. Tech labs at libraries just scream breeding grounds for a world wide epidemic.

5.  Having to eat sloppy joes

The whole idea of a sloppy joe scares me, and I don’t understand how and why this has become an acceptable choice as a meal.  Sloppy joes make me gag, and I think anything can be hidden in this type of smooshy meat.